A Strongly Worded Letter #1by Karen Schwabenland
Dear Mr. Man-in-Charge-of-the Hospital Man, Recently, I paid a visit to your tax-payer supported establishment. I am a long time frequent flyer there, to be sure. I have had two babies within those hallowed halls. And since the birth of my final child, twenty-two years ago, I have visited at least once a year to get the most benefit from my private health insurance. And by most benefit, I am talking about the one and only free item in my health care package. And that free thing is, as you may have guessed, my well-woman check-up. For nigh upon these past fortyish years, I have participated in this free check-up, yearly. For something given away free, I cannot say that it is a pleasant enterprise, but it has served me well. I would now like to discuss the costs involved in this free health care check-up. This check-up is supposed to be free to me, but is it really? I would argue that no, it is not. While I have always had to pay for parking, imagine my surprise upon my recent visit to your establishment when I learned that the parking price has increased. Yes, dear readers, for this free healthcare visit, one is required to pay for parking at this tax-supported hospital. I never minded paying for parking before. The price for parking has been steadily increasing over the course of my time as a patient, however. I believe when my first child was born, the most you had to pay for the entire day of parking was $4.00. Albeit, that was a long time ago. The last time I visited for my free check-up, I was out $7.00 for my parking bill which was the daily rate. Did I complain about that? No, I did not. Long ago, you replaced the in person parking attendant with an automated kiosk. I took that change in stride, however. Upon my recent visit though, I was greeting by a cheering squad of salespeople at the parking kiosk who then informed me that I would need to scan the bar code that they handed me--printed on a small, easily misplace-able business size card. Then, my information would be sent to a new data base held by a parking lot management company who will then hold my private information and possibly sell it for profit. And to make matters worse, I must use my credit card which they will also hold on file. Then to add icing to this cake of corporate indignities, the price of parking has increased to $8.00 an hour with maximum of $12.00 for the full day. That makes for a 71% increase in daily parking fees, or profit, for this parking management company. I probably will not see much loss in my own personal coffers for this increase. However, I do have an issue with the whole parking management company holding on to my information. They have my license tag number, my driver's license number, and my credit card number. And all for the pleasure of driving through the gates of the parking lot like a boss, or a physician who works there. There is no way around this either. When queried, the cheer squad told me I could walk to the the basement of the parking garage to the parking lot attendant's office to pay in cash. Parking lot attendant? What parking lot attendant? With an office? This whole idea seems dubious at best. I am not a fan of basements, especially in parking garages. Also, the parking attendant's office closes at five p.m., and should my appointment run past 5:00, then I would be unable to leave the parking lot without paying by credit card and also registering on line with the parking management company. Frankly, I am doubtful that there is a parking attendant at all. There was no evidence of human life in the garage on the day I visited, other than the cheering squad at the gate to the parking lot. That the parking attendant has an office is also a surprise. I imagine it as always locked and no one actually inside--as paying someone to just sit there all day would take away from the 71% profit margin. Finally, I mentioned corporate indignity earlier. Well, let me just remind you, Mr. Man-in-Charge-of-the-Hospital Man, the whole free woman's wellness visit is rife with indignities, most of which a man like yourself, or any man for that matter, will never experience. Ladies, be now warned. Most of us will now have to sell our soul to the corporate gods for the insane indignity of lifting our legs akimbo while our medical professional sticks unholy pieces of shrapnel in unmentionable places. And everyone thinks we're done with the Dark Ages. Sincerely, A. Citizen Taxpayer |
AuthorKaren Schwabenland--Keeper of a daily blog of written matter, reporter of events large and small, and charlatan extraordinaire Archives
September 2022
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