October 1st, 2020--International Day of Older Persons While visiting our daughter at college to celebrate her 22nd birthday, we all went out to brunch on Sunday morning. Daughter picked a trendy spot, where you had to wait for a table and the music was loud. Finally seated, the waitress informed us that the menu was available on line--we just needed to wave our phones over the QR code posted on the table, or use their website. I declined to get my phone out, but Daughter was all over it. Son was busy on his phone playing games. He only wanted a grilled cheese sandwich by way of his mandatory lunch item when forced to order in a restaurant. Husband had his phone out, but could not get the QR code to work. "Exactly why I didn't bother to get mine, out," I thought. Rather than giving life to these thoughts, I commented instead, "Whatever happened to waiters who could quote the menu by heart? Remember those?" I watched in amusement as Daughter and Husband engaged in a conversation about how to get the menu on their phones. Unable to access the QR code on his phone, Husband said he would just use the restaurant's web site instead. I continued to make idle chit chat, waiting for someone to tell me what items I might want to order. When I next looked across the table, Husband had put his phone down and had his arms folded across his chest. "What's the matter?" I asked. "It's too small for me to read," he said. "And it's too loud in here," he continued. "I can't see the tiny print when it's that loud." "You look just like Walter!" I cried. "Who the hell is Walter?" "Now you sound like him! Walter is the grumpy old man puppet operated by that guy, Jeff Dunham." "I don't know either one of those people," he said. Just then Daughter rolled her eyes at both of us. "Oh, my God. You guys are such Boomers," she grabbed Husband's phone. At that, we both looked at each other. "Did she just call us Boomers?" said Husband. "Oh, no, she di-UNT," I did my best snap. We laughed. "What's so funny?" said Son. "We're just laughing at the Boomers comment," I said. "She's so Gen Z," he said going back to his game. I was laughing so hard by that point, I may or may not have wet myself a little bit. I announced this fact to the table. "Did we need to know that?" / "Too much information!" said Husband and Daughter together. "Woman, have you no dignity?" said Husband. "No, I don't," I said. "I lost my dignity when I lost my ability to not pee my pants when I laugh too hard. Anyways, I would not have said it, if it were not true. And it wouldn't have been true, if you hadn't reminded me of Walter." "Who the HELL is Walter?" "He's the guy I'm going to grow old with." |
AuthorKaren Schwabenland--Keeper of a daily blog of written matter, reporter of events large and small, and charlatan extraordinaire Archives
September 2022
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